“You know it’s almost not really about how you started but more of how you’re finishing!” My friend said this throwing a tight gaze at my indecisive face on our way home after a really long day…
I just wanted 2018 to go! I was tired of it. I wanted it to fly with every struggle it presented, the stab of pain it came with, and even the unpleasant tidings it brought.
I wanted it to take a bow dragging along with it the feeling of discouragement and negativity.
I just wanted to draw the curtain bading 2018 farewell together with the stacks of disappointment it entertained me. Trust me I have eaten a lot from the plates of disappointment served from places, people, situations (chuckles).
I wanted to personally drive 2018 away with the horrible feeling of setback it brought!
Do you think I’m being too harsh on 2018?….. Maybe! You know I actually thought that too sometimes.
But that was me, in my lowest place! This is me not trying to pen it down like its been all silver and gold.
For some very weird reason I happen to write this blog post in tears I guess it’s because I’m taking baby steps outta my comfort zone and it hurts a bit.
Glory to God! regardless.
Things got a bit difficult for me as the end of the year approached…. Just as a swimmer tries to paddle her hands and legs against the ferocious waves of the sea to stay afloat but her hands and legs got weak, her lungs were filled with water, she was obviously weightier to remain afloat on a sea that wanted to drown her! And your guess is right she lost it and got drown.
I just couldn’t handle it anymore which leads to the outburst of feeling in the second verse of this post.
But it didn’t end there….
I deviced a plan and the thought of it kept me sane and going even though I had questioned it’s reliability and viability on several occasions.
My plan was to start everything afresh in 2019. So I had a plan of everything I was gonna do, how I was gonna do it, with whom I was gonna do it with…you know, I had them all planned out and fam that included the blog. I hadn’t written for a while on the blog so my plan was since I’m starting everything afresh next year by God’s grace I might as well start blogging again in 2019.
So a new 2019, apparently a new and better me 😁, new ideas, new visions, new blog😂😂😂 Osheyyyy 2019! This 2019 must be a blast year o.
After my friend had said this to me “You know it’s almost not really about how you started but more of how you’re finishing!” I went back home thinking hard on it.
That quote was stemmed from the fact that I had told her I was planning on posting again on the blog in 2019 after she had asked on several occasions why I haven’t posted anything on the blog lately.
After thinking and praying about it, I eventually deduced that:
◾Waiting for 2019 was what I wanted for myself not what God wanted for me. I wanted to feel ready and so I closed my eyes to the fact that God had already made me ready!
◾I wanted to wait for the oppositions to clear but God wanted me to walk through those oppositions so I would have to lean totally on him!
◾I was waiting to start afresh in 2019 but what makes it so different from now? The fact that it’s a new year doesn’t mean no oppositions, neither does it make the devil become a better person so what makes me think if i couldn’t stay afloat now I would stay afloat then?
I was wrong the whole time. God wanted me to START AGAIN instantly! Not in 2019. And so he made it clear to me, this will be the anchor of your blog post. Tell my babies I need them to START AGAIN NOW!
As difficult as it was, here I am starting again! Shaming the enemy and his caucuses!
Sweetheart, you can do it too! Are there things of urgency that God laid greatly upon your heart to do and you got so overwhelmed so you stopped?! You probably wanna start again next year, or oh sweetheart, maybe that was your final stop. You were just too discouraged, you never wanna take that path again. You might probably be reading this post with the same mindset I had some weeks ago…. that a lot of things have gotten so out of hand, they are beyond repair so needless beating yourself up for it just carry it over to the new year. Fam, regardless of the numerous reasons, we all have a word and a common ground to START AGAIN!
You thought God didn’t care about how you felt and so you pulled out? He did! He did care! How do I know this?
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin. Hebrews 4:15
So you see? He understands and relates with everything we’ve been through and no! he’s not given up on us!
So If there’s someone we should not pull away from? It’s him!
If there’s someone we should be in partnership with? it’s him! Just because he’s walked this road before and only him can lead us through it all.
There’s really never gonna be a perfect time to start again. Everyday is a perfect time to start again. That day might be today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or even next week.
Trash the idea of starting over in the new year, it might just be one of the many antics of the enemy for you to cross over to the new year without facing your fears… Show him you’re not ignorant of his schemes!
Therefore I challenge you to live every second of the remaining part of 2018 fearlessly, intentionally and unapologetically.
From the heart,